Includes bibliographical references (pages 336-340) and index.
Contents:
What are we fighting for? -- Why we fight -- Why we fight the way we fight -- What we fight about -- Fight #1 : the bomb drop -- Fight #2 : the flood -- Fight #3 : the shallows -- Fight #4 : the standoff -- Fight #5 : the chasm in the room -- The good fight.
Summary:
How we fight predicts the future of our relationships. Most of us blunder into conflict without knowing what we are really fighting about and then quickly become overwhelmed by physiological responses we can't control and emotions we don't anticipate. The truth is the happiest and most successful couples fight -- all the time. Conflict is human, and necessary. Through decades of research, Drs. John and Julie Gottman, founders of the world-famous Love Lab, have identified the five common mistakes we make when we are at odds. Here, we learn the five secrets that help us to get back on track and harness conflict to build stronger, healthier relationships. With kindness, clarity, and a deep understanding of the struggles couples are going through, the Gottmans show us that we each have a unique conflict culture, borne of how we were raised and how we experienced past relationships, and they take us through all the possible combinations, from Avoiders, to Validators, to Volatiles, and how they can best work together. This book is an essential resource that will help couples escape the win-or-lose mentality in favor of a collaborative calming down, staying connected, and really understanding, so that our fights can bring us closer.
This resource is supported by the Institute of Museum and Library Services under the provisions of the Library Services and Technology Act as administered by State Library of Iowa.