"We the people, in order to form a Pig-ful union, establish ruckus, ensure personal futility, provide for the Zeeba defense, promote the general pun-fare, and endure depressing proclivities of Rat and his vulgarity, do ordain and establish this . . . collection of Pearls Before Swine comics! All of your favorite misanthropic, moronic, pretentious, predatory, political characters are backplus the Pearls gang! These all-new strips would make our founding fathers . . . well, maybe its a good thing theyre not around to see Goat get a Tinder account, Rat campaign as an unabashedly selfish demagogue, or Stephan inflict pun after pun on his unfortunate readers. Floundering Fathers is guaranteed to make you laugh. Or cry. Or roll over in your grave."-- cover page 4.
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