Hardcover edition published in 2018 under title: If you're in my office, it's already too late. "A Holt paperback."
Contents:
Introduction: Take the path they didn't -- What is the problem to which marriage is the solution? -- Storytelling: There's an arc there, somewhere -- Hit send now -- You can be right or you can be happy -- Expectation vs. reality -- Tight grips and loose arms -- Reading minds and accepting appearances -- Everyone's fucking the nanny -- Gratuitous time-out: and yes, I meant everyone is fucking the nanny -- Married people: pretend you're not -- Go without or go elsewhere -- Did you spend more time shopping for your car or for your spouse? -- Actually, past performance is indicative of future results -- The five kinds of infidelity -- Infidelity type #3: the mistake -- It's so much easier to change the other person -- Gratuitous time-out: Lie to me; everybody else does -- The you, the me, and the we -- If we were designing an infidelity-generating machine, it would be Facebook -- One of the pillars of marriage is sex -- We know what we know until we may not want to know it -- Gratuitous time-out: I love my job, except for when I hate it -- You never go to bed with just one person -- Divide and conquer -- What you're getting and what you're giving -- The myth of the perfect parent -- You divorce who you married -- Gratuitous time-out: The case of the shrinking penis -- Know yourself -- Intimacy weaponized, Part I -- Intimacy weaponized, Part II: Cross-examination -- Argue better -- Gut, heart, and head -- The author of your story -- Who are you? -- Gratuitous time-out: How not to let yourself be cross-examined -- Write a letter -- Yours, mine, and ours: the financial system that works best -- Design, not default -- Acceptance: You have to love the bad parts, too -- The secret that shouldn't be a secret: just give a shit -- Afterword: Cannibals.
Summary:
With two decades on the front lines of divorce Sexton has seen what makes formerly happy couples fall out of love and "lose the plot" of the story they were writing together. Now he reveals all of the "what-not-to-dos" for couples who want to build--and consistently work to preserve--a lasting, loving relationship. Sexton tells the unvarnished truth about love and marriage, diving straight into the most common issues that often arise from simple communication problems and relationships that develop by "default" instead of design.Though he deals constantly with the heartbreak of others, he still believes in romance and the transformative power of love. This book is his opportunity to use what he has learned from the mistakes of his clients to help individuals and couples find and preserve lasting connection.
This resource is supported by the Institute of Museum and Library Services under the provisions of the Library Services and Technology Act as administered by State Library of Iowa.