Introduction: Attack of the Madisons -- Nothing's funnier than naked -- Popular sins, explained -- Sexy cartoon God -- Tiny dainty baby lady -- Evening of carnal delights as envisioned by my ten-year-old self -- Welcome to Ass Planet -- I'm a clog bitch now -- I'm a clog bitch now (Part 2) -- Incredible vibrating teen -- Beware the howler -- Poor woman's Steve Irwin -- Essential items to have on hand when the world ends -- Bugging out -- I am backpacking pug -- I'm a B12 bitch now -- Face of an angel, heart of a gerbil -- Out of office -- Opinion machine -- Quiz: which boy band archetype is your perfect boo? -- Bag egg -- Madison forever.
Summary:
A collection of humorous essays chronicle the author's pursuit of perfection and quest to be everybody's favorite.
This resource is supported by the Institute of Museum and Library Services under the provisions of the Library Services and Technology Act as administered by State Library of Iowa.