Originally published in hardcover in 2012. Includes bibliographical references.
Contents:
If not me, who? -- Me the people: an order to form a more perfect union -- The new constitution of the United States of America. The preamble to the new Constitution : It's Greek to thee -- The legislative branch : An imbalance of power -- The executive branch : We pledge allegiance to that guy who wanted to be president so damn badly -- The judicial branch : The whole system's out of order, and other perfectly valid cliches -- Article IV. The states : What's the matter with Kansas? Also, what's the point of Nebraska? -- Article V. The amendment process : Honestly, we're pretty sure we screwed this whole thing up -- Article VI. No religious test? : Thank God, because we totally didn't study for this -- Article VII. Ratification : Hang together or hang separately, but don't hang out in Rhode Island -- The united mistakes of America : The new amendments to the new constitution. The first amendment : Your right to say, "because there's something called the first amendment in this country, buddy!" -- The second amendment : Starring Charlton Heston's "Cold, Dead Hands!" -- The third amendment : Knock knock! Who's there? A soldier! A soldier who? A soldier who demands to be quartered during peacetime! -- The fourth amendment : Hail, seizer! -- The fifth amendment : The amendment guilty people use -- The sixth amendment : Establishing your right to be judged by a jury comprised of people exactly like you, and really, congratulations on that -- The seventh amendment : Yes, there is one -- The eighth amendment : Cruel, I get; but what's so wrong with unusual? -- The ninth amendment : My ninth amendment is to ask for a zillion more amendments -- The tenth amendment : The amendment to the constitution that does not amend the constitition -- Footnotes to history : Seventeen more amendments to address three more problems: booze, servants, and suffrage. Next round's on me : The amendments involving alcohol -- Suffraging fools gladly : The amendments about voting -- Judge us not by the color of our skin, but by the con-test of of our characters : The amendments addressing slavery and discrimination -- Postamble : Signed, sealed, delivered : From preamble to me-amble ; or, One man's successful quest to save the constitution and why, in the end, no thanks are necessary -- Giving full faith and credit where credit is due -- Appendix : The declaration of independence from the constitution of the United States.
Summary:
Presents an offbeat revision of the U.S. Constitution that reflects twenty-first century realities and addresses unresolved questions while describing the author's research into ancient Greece's early practices of democracy.
This resource is supported by the Institute of Museum and Library Services under the provisions of the Library Services and Technology Act as administered by State Library of Iowa.