Pregnancy : there's an alien in my uterus -- Birth preparation : getting ready to ruin your vagina -- Pre-labour : I think a poo might be coming --Labour : oh, that poo is a fucking baby -- Pushing and delivery : squeezing a human watermelon out of your hole -- The aftermath : don't look down -- Birth stories -- Welcome to babygeddon -- Breastfeeding : attack of the nipple-nibbling piranha -- Sleep : the battle of bedtime -- Body confidence : learning to love your digestive biscuit areolas -- Post-natal sex : bracing your blubbery blowhole for impact -- Loneliness : marooned on the Island of Motherhood -- Conclusion.
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