"Lloyd Wallace is the most clueless crossing guard the intersection of hell and earth has ever seen. So clueless, that he doesn't even realize the beer cave in the corner store where he works is the gateway to hell. The gate needs a hero, but Lloyd's a zero, a loser with a capital L. He's ten thousand dollars in debt and lives with his parents. He's been fired from every job he's ever had. He was the first thing his ex-girlfriend tossed to the curb when she upgraded her life. He had no money and no prospects until the night he accidentally slayed a one-eyed tentacle monster hellbent on world domination. And, impressed by his pure heart and bravery, the suave but devilish owner of the 24/7 Dairy Mart gave Lloyd a job." -- Amazon.com
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