No time for sergeants (excerpts) / Mac Hyman Anti-Semitism -- My friend Phil / John Long -- Miss Oyster / Bennett Cerf -- Tushmaker's toothpullerby / John Phoenix (George H. Derby) -- Rabbi Rosenbloom / from Feldman's cache -- Cloudland revisited / S.J. Perelman -- Girlfriend -- The dirty nincompoop who edits that journal / excerpts from the Weekly Arizona Miner and the Arizona Sentinal -- The story of the old ram / Mark Twain -- Lectures on astronomy / John Phoenix -- IBM sent this? -- The latest improvements in artillery / Orpheus C. Kerr (Robert H. Newell) Beautiful girl -- Third world driving / P.J. O'Rourke -- He quit snoring -- Jud Brownin hears Ruby play / George W. Bagby -- Budding actor -- King Kong comes to Wabag / John Long -- The three wishes, or, The man who longed to see the night of power (from A thousand nights and a night) -- No time for sergeants (excerpts) / Mac Hyman What to do with all those free soaps when traveling / Shelley Berman. The first piano in a mining camp / Sam Davis -- You drive, dear / Fred S. Tobey -- Parisian shave / Mark Twain -- Somebody in my bed / James Aswell -- Kindly dig your grave / Stanley Ellin -- Gambling / Ron Fawcett -- Fenimore Cooper's literary offenses / Mark Twain -- So what? -- The road to Miltown / S.J. Perelman -- Voltaire / John Long -- A real man -- Turkish bath / Mark Twain -- What to do with all those free soaps when traveling / Shelley Berman.
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